Here is The Game That Takes Place on a Cruise Ship. That's right, it's the very game you've all been waiting for, in all its 19.5 MB glory. Enjoy! (Alternatively, if you're a Linux user or just plain hate installer programs, you can download a zipped version of the game here.)

Curious to see how Gert ended up being the main character for this game? Play TGTTPOACS's "demo", The Interview. (If you've got a registered version of the SLUDGE Development Kit, you may be interested in taking a peek at The Interview's source code, for help with making your own SLUDGE game or whatnot.)

If you're stuck and in need of a walkthrough, you can find one here. (Please note, however, that using a walkthrough is extremely detrimental to your overall enjoyment of the game, and as such, is strongly discouraged.)

Finally, for your listening pleasure, here's the TGTTPOACS soundtrack. All sound files are in OGG format, just so you know.

Main Theme
Passenger Deck
May I Help You?
Elevator Music
Out on the Deck
Something's Cooking
Wizard Warble
Cute Little Kids
The Spit Valve
Cubert Badbone in the Disco
By the Water
Bolton's Theme
Inside Chez Pierre
The Vulture's Theme
Se7enteen
Wizard Warble Redux
Captain Smith's Theme
Pirate Dance Contest